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Why I Felt College Was Holding Me Back

For the longest time, I was convinced.

Convinced that being a college student was holding me back from my full potential. I just need to graduate first, I told myself. Day after day. Week after week. That was my constant reminder. Academics first, then you're out. I felt the same way with New York Fashion Week every year because the schedules always interfered with midterms. (I'm still beyond blessed to have gone back in February here). 

Opportunities arose and I was forced to back out of them because of exams and papers. Ugh, thanks college, I thought. I blamed college for taking away my moments to shine.

But the thing here is... college wasn't taking these moments from me. Sure, I was missing out on opportunities, but I'm a firm believer that God's timing is perfect. He closes those doors because he has something better down the road for us. It's hard believing that, but that's where faith comes in. 
Slowly and surely, as I've been getting through these last few months, now weeks, of my final semester as a college student, I realized that this mindset had been so engrained in my head, that I was forgetting the other things. 

I was forgetting how happy this place used to make me feel as a freshman, sophomore, junior... walking around campus every day, tweeting about how 'blessed' I was to be a student at The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, living for basketball season, making plans on where to watch the games with friends instead of studying for an exam because BALL IS LIFE, and then having to pick a cute outfit because rushing Franklin Street when we beat Dook meant taking photos with friends, and then there were those Thursday night outs because no Friday classes, and those nights were always worth remembering (or not remembering, so to speak). Lastly, it was all about making memories with new friends, old friends, pursuing people that I knew weren't right for me but still did anyway in hopes that it would be different. 
and I thought: being a college student isn't holding me back. 

This is where I'm supposed to be. This is what I'm supposed to be doing. 
Right here, right now, at this very moment, I am meant to be here. 

I realized I was dreaming too far ahead in the future that I was forgetting to live in the present.
Yes, I have dreams. Yes, I have plans to pursue them, but that's for another chapter down the road.
My priority right now is to finish this chapter of four years that I've spent at the place I've called home. And when that chapter ends, I'll open a new book.

Wearing: top: ℅ Romwe (just sold out) similar here + here | skirt: ℅ SheIn (runs small - be sure to size up!) | sunglasses: Celine | earrings: Baublebar | rings: ℅ Versona | hat: ℅ Versona (similar here) | shoes: Zara (old) similar here (ON SALE) | watch: Marc Jacobs | 


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